Emily could hear their discussion from inside the kitchen. She sucked in a breath and sat down next to Jack, watching him as he drank his juice, trying not to listen in. She smiled down at him as he hand her his sippy cup. She ruffled his hair and sighed softly. “How’re you hanging in there, baby?”
He glanced up at her with a small smile and shrugged, “M’emly, is daddy mad?” Emily shook her head and bit her lip, “No, honey. I don’t think he is. He’s just… a bit stressed.” She patted her lap and smiled, “Come here, sweet boy.”
He slowly crawled into her lap with a wide smile and hugged her tightly, mumbling into her shirt, “I miss mommy.”
She nodded slowly and rubbed his back, her chest aching. “I know, I know. We all miss mommy.” She held him back and tilted his chin up so he can look into her eyes.
“Aaron, I can understand how you’d feel. I’d probably feel the same. But kids make their parents into Gods and we can’t do anything but disappoint you.” She paused, sighing, “I am no God, Aaron. I am just a person, like everybody else. I make mistakes, big ones; clearly, that I should have handled differently. And there’s nothing I can say to make you forgive me.” She inhaled softly and shook her head, “But I sure as hell am going to forgive myself, because I have a little time left. And I am entitled to try and be happy, even if it’s just for a little bit. Jim is a good man. He’d never lift a finger to me.”
She gestured with her hands and shook her head as she spoke, “And it took a lot of courage to share him with you,” She quietly broke off before continuing. she inhaled deeply, taking in a shaky breath, “Cause I-I wanted you to taste a little bit of the happiness that I’ve had because it seems that all I’ve ever done is bring you misery. That’s what I couldn’t face… All the things I did to you. But I wish I could do it differently. But I can’t turn back the clock. And apparently neither can you…” She wiped at her eyes and nodded, “Good bye, Aaron.” She turned and left silently, closing the door and walking to her car, leaving him to contemplate everything.
Emily listened in for something telling her that he was alone again. She bit her lip and glanced down at Jack. “I’ll be back. Stay here, sweetie. I need to talk to your daddy for a minute.” She kissed his cheek and nodded, leaving him in the chair. She walked into the living room quietly, and stood behind him, not knowing what to say or do. She wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be with her now. She eyed his back carefully and sighed, turning back to the kitchen. She gathered her things and walked into the living room again to grab her purse after saying good bye to Jack. It was better if she just left.
(ooc: Aw, you’re getting there.)
The minute his mother started speaking, he knew she took his words the wrong way. Despite his numerous efforts to jump in, to try and tell her his side, Beth just continued, driving that wedge deeper into his heart. Aaron never said she wasn’t entitled to happiness or that Jim would hurt her. He just remembered all those nights when his father had come home drunk and beat her senseless; he just didn’t want that for her. It nearly killed him to see her take that shaky breath while standing in his living room, continuing on.
She felt like things were her fault, that it was because of her he was abused. Aaron felt like slapping himself in the head; he was a profiler for God’s sake…how did he miss that one? Before he could say anything, before he could try to defend his argument and talk to his mother, she had said goodbye to him, not bothering to say goodbye to her grandson, and left. Aaron knew she needed time to cool off; he’d call her later and try to work things through. Still, the pain was raw and fresh, and despite his best efforts, he felt the tears pricking at the back of his eyes.
Of course, Emily had heard everything. He knew deep down that she would try to leave, thinking it was best for him to be left alone. The truth of the matter was that Aaron wanted her to stay more than anything; he needed her most right now. Drawing a shaky breath, he turned around, facing her, purse in hand. His voice managed to crack slightly as he spoke, a fresh batch of tears starting. “Emily…please don’t go. I…I need you,” he choked out, his eyes silently pleading with her to stay. “I want you to stay. Please don’t go…” he said quietly, hoping that Emily wouldn’t run away from him, but run toward him and give him what he needed most at that time.
(ooc: Thanks! I am just so sick of studying for exams. Ugh!)
Emily watched him deal with what his mother said for a moment. She bit her lip and slowly stepped to his side as he begged for her to stay. Nodding, she held him in her arms and pulled him towards her just like she had done with Jack previously. “Shh, Honey.” She rubbed his back in soothing circles and nodded, resting her chin on the top of his head. “Hey, this is not your fault.” She looked into his eyes and shook her head slowly.
She glanced into the kitchen and then back down at Aaron, whispering softly, “Jack is in the kitchen. I gave him some juice..” She let him take that anyway he wanted, but it mostly meant that Jack wasn’t here to see him cry. That if he wanted to, he could finally break and cry and she would hold him. “Aaron, I wont leave if you don’t want me to.” She smiled slightly and hugged him closer, leading him to the couch. She sucked in a breath and nodded, letting him sit on the leather as she kneeled infront of him on the ground and took his hands. “Now, what happened?” She already knew, but just wanted to know what he’d tell her and what he was feeling. She waited in silence and looked into his eyes.
Using her thumb, she brushed his tears away and kissed the corner of his mouth gently, letting him know that she was here to stay. After he finished, she glanced down and shrugged, “Aaron… I think you should go to the wedding. She’s happy and she wants to share her happiness with you. Jim is not your father; You are not your father. It must have taken so much courage just to share this with you, and the good man that she knew you were, she expected you’d be happy for her and that you’d support her.” She squeezed his hands and sighed, “She seemed nice. Besides, I already have a bad relationship with my mother… We have to at least have somebody in the family we don’t hate.” She winked and kissed him slowly. “I love you. And I know that you will make the right decision. I know you, Aaron.”